It is a disputed doctrine. Unlike hellfire and damnation, scriptural support is lacking. Yet on a weekend we wander the halls of a hospital ward and encounter no one. The clearest evidence is the existence of a windowless room and its tiny locked door. One arrives there by finding oneself already sitting in that particular waiting place. Invariably there’s a moment when one recalls having forgotten to ask how long the wait will be. It’s no use beating oneself up about that. I suspect this characteristic of what it is thus to wait. As every cause is an effect of a prior cause, and so on. The place of rest is where-ever for the time being you’ve happened to collapse. Pacing suggests there is some question one has not resolved or, for that matter, asked. No, turns out there are a few others present. I note a father on his phone a few seats over. The desire to talk is impossible to fulfill. In that respect it is like every other desire. I’ve asked about how long we’re scheduled to wait. How long the operation will be. I mean- I’ve written a note to remind myself later not to forget to ask. If, that is, anyone official turns up. Also characteristic is rudderless worry and ubiquitous fear. Yet I’m told neither to worry nor give way to fear. By ‘told’ I mean that I’ve read that advice somewhere once. It should be but it is not is a common refrain. Unfortunately is another. Need not be but is is what I say, recollecting Aurelius’ Meditations. Now here’s something you won’t believe: Not far, a little boy—no, a girl!—runs our way through the hall silently and quick.
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