Translated from Russian by the poet
A DATE WITH MADNESS
There was a piece of your scream on the floor.
I spread your blood on the walls before I covered myself completely with it.
Your cut wings I put in a rain mirror that covers a whole wall.
You also wear these hands glued to your back instead of your wings or together with them, which amounts to the same thing.
Maybe one day you’ll be able to fly, she had told me before she died.
He believes his soul is still alive and lives in a shoebox, so I always walk barefoot.
I left a poem on the table for you to read later, after my death.
You also enter the house dressed only in death.
You carry a child in your arms, but it is no longer your child.
I have an appointment with Absence , but it is Madness that has opened its arms to receive me.
Take this glass of milk and this cup of coffee, your father and mother are thirsty, but when you go into the living room to give it to them, they jump out the window and already flee into the street. When a black cat occupies your room in the hotel, you have to go to sleep on the ground in a park to make up for your sins.
The earth is all wet, you sleep under a tree for a whole night.
When you wake up, you are naked like the child, but you no longer believe in the meaning of things, as if you were an old man. A woman, also naked, comes up to you but passes by without seeing you, talking to herself and staring into space.
You don’t believe in madness from now on either.
Huge wheat fields cover the plain.
You walk through them to get home.
Next to the poem on the table, when you finally get to your room in the evening, there is a candle that has almost completely burned out.
You watch its flame go out , and you have become the candle, but you see it at the same time.
You go to your window, detach it from the wall and hold it with your arms so that you can better kiss your reflection that is hidden in it.
But now you’ve fallen into the void.
Sitting on a rooftop, you see the city stretching to the sea.
The jackals scream when the bells ring, but their voices sound almost human.
You find me covered with your blood.
You do not know where to go, for your feet are severed and are in the canvas bag you carry.
You also cover yourself with my blood and kiss your own severed feet devoutly.
Arriving at the harbor, you watch in disbelief a boat floating far out to sea, this boat is your all life.
In the distance, also lost, the mountain has finally given you a hand signal to come to it. You walk towards it for a long time. It’s hot, it’s summer, the slope is steep, I get very tired, I fall to the ground in the blazing sun and slowly die.
In the distance, the lost mountain on a beautiful day beckoned to you, and I got lost in it.